Okay, this may not be my normal kind of post...but I thought I would share some memories. Today Yan and I went to Target and ended up stopping at the little eating area there to have lunch. I happened to see an old friend and we talked for a while and were reminiscing about our young, college days.
Just as my friend left and older gentleman came and sat at the table next to us. He ordered a cup of "Starbucks" (but later informed me that he always just has regular coffee with a little cream and a little sugar-none of those crazy flavors) and sat there waiting on his wife. I spoke to him and just smiled. Tears welled up in my eyes, because I could just picture my dad escaping from a shopping trip to sneak out and get a cup of coffee. Oh what I would give to share a cup of coffee with dad and mom again.
Sometimes it seems so wrong to be crying because I miss them still-but it still hurts. I know I can go on-but with each new chapter in my life, I still grieve; as I would love to share it with them. I would love for them to see their granddaughter. I would love for her to have the privledge of being spoiled by a grandma and grandpa. I would love to just talk to them and hear their voices, or get a great big hug. I would love to hear the title "daughter" again.
I can rejoice because they are in a better place. With each sunset I see I think about them. For me a sunset is glorious-but I can't imagine the glory that they must witness on a daily basis. Regardless, they are still missed and loved!
I'm posting a couple pics of Yan at the cemetary in Indiana, visiting their gravesite for the first time. Love you mom and dad! Jenn
1 comment:
Jenn, I totally know how you feel. Mom & Dad are still with us, but Mom has advanced Alzheimer's. The only people who've seen her awake in months are the staff, or so they say. There are times I miss her SO MUCH. I ache that she will never know Zoe, and thank God that she got to know and love Amelia.
I've been thinking a lot about the good days, childhood, young adulthood (we had a horrible relationship in my teens), and when I do I miss her SO much. When I get to thinking about being a mom, I remember my mommy...and how much she loved me.
Crud, now I have tears in my eyes... Anyway, my being a good mother is a testament to Mom. I hope God takes her soon so she can get the real rest she deserves (you can see how troubled she is in her sleep state.)
It's not wrong to cry. Yea, it's selfish, but it's also an indicator how much you love them, how much you miss them. It means you're a good daughter :-)
peace,
gina b
www.mom-blog.com
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