Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Giving Up Expectations...

I haven't blogged for a bit; honestly it's been a rough couple of weeks. But after watching a video about a little angel that I previously posted about http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/
(Warning, get kleenex) I just felt like I should write. It seems no matter where I turn, God continues to show me that His plans are so different from mine. That no matter how hard I try not to have "expectations"-of people, events, milestones, success, etc., they are still there deep inside me. And that until I let go of all of it, I will still struggle with disappointment, getting offended, upset, angry and will not be "resting" in Him the way that He has intended.

Last week we went for an annual visit to the "Down Syndrome Clinic". I am grateful that we can go and get many appointments out of the way at one and see up to 9 specialists in one day; however, it can be overwhelming. During this particular day we had to do a lot of waiting...as in it took 5 hours to see 4 specialists. I was tired and Yan was completely over the whole thing. Needless to say, she zoned out and before we left the clinic I had specialists telling me that they were concerned, were referring to a psychiatrist and on top of the -Down Syndrome, Congenital Heart Disease, Sensory Integration Disorder and Attachment Disorder, they thought she now might have Autism. AHHHHHH! I lost it! I know that she has issues, I know that she has obstacles that we must conquer-but by golly, do we need another freaking label????

I've since calmed down and have been reminded that she is exactly who she is meant to be. But I must continually hit my knees and ask God to transfer this knowledge from my head to my heart and to free me from any of my own expectations.


Tuesday, April 8, 2008

One of those "Why" Times

I don't know about you, but I can get caught up in reading blogs and lose total track of time. I've also been blessed to be a part of several on-line forums where I have met fabulous people who have become wonderful, real-life friends. I love being connected to others and I love to keep up with what is going on in their lives.

However, there are times that the rain seems to pour down and you realize that so many people are hurting and suffering. During the past week, through webgroups I've known of 3 little kiddos, ages 2, 2 and newborn, who have all passed away. My heart just aches for their families. I know the pain of grief; but honestly, cannot imagine it being my child.

Some moms on one forum admitted that it is so hard to "give your child over to the Lord". I completely agree. I think as a parent you do everything to protect and guard them. The last thing that we want to do is think of them being taken away. Yet they are not ours. They are gifts, blessings from the Lord and they belong to Him.

I'm praying that God will continue to mold my heart into one that has truely surrendered everything, including Yan. I'm also praying for all these families mourning the loss of their little ones. Jenn

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Catching up on Photos

Well, I thought I would catch up on some photos. Tonight Yan got out her big box of dress-up stuff and had a blast...here are a couple of those pics.

And, the infamous tongue injury. It was the first accident we had as a result of our swingset. The neighbor boy was swinging and she walked right in front of him-it knocked her over. She bit through her tongue all the way in two spots, then it went into her lip-OUCH!!! I felt so bad for her! But, no stiches were needed (Thank you Jesus!!) and it is all better now.

And, we have a beautiful tree in the front yard, that I took some pics of. Enjoy! Hugs to all!


Friday, April 4, 2008

More Words!!

Last night we left gymnastics class (which Yan adores!) and had to stop at CVS to get some allergy meds on the way home. I was debating on whether I should run through McD's to get some food, or be good, and make something at home. I said, should we go get french fries or go home? (1/2 talking to myself) Then I just said, you know what, we can go home and eat. Yan adamantly replied, "NO, CHICKEN!" I was shocked and said, "You want chicken nuggets" and she said, "Yesssssss"! Wooohoooooo...she said "chicken". So, off to the drive thru we went.

I do realize that I'm creating a new problem by giving her all these new goodies that she is finally asking for...but alas, I will deal with that later, because we are having a great word week!!!

Yeah God! Jenn