Sunday, September 5, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Switching things up!
I haven't blogged in a long time. Don't know that I want to write out long stories right now. I'm going to switch things up and just start posting little snippets of life with Yan, my thoughts, etc. I often post these on facebook, but would like to keep them somewhere where I can have more of a record of things. I want to remind myself how good my life is and how blessed I am to have a funny little girl in it each and every day.
Today's funny...
Today's funny...
Yan was walking towards me and carrying "Sugar" (the beloved stick horse) horizontally. She accidentally hit a little boy in the head with his stick. I told her and she immediately turned around and gave him a great big kiss where he got hit. Unfortunately "he" was the stick horse. Must work on directing compassion... to the right place/people! So wrong, but oh how I love that girl!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
The good news is...
We're alive! To say that the last three weeks have been the biggest whirlwind of my life is a complete understatement. I'm always amazed when life changes on a moment's notice. And if you think you are really in control of anything, you are sadly mistaken.
Three weeks ago on Saturday, May 1st, Yan and I were at home cozy in our pajamas. We had been out earlier in the day, but came back early because it was pouring rain and had been for days. When I drove around I noticed some of the roads were starting to flood. It was supposed to continue raining and I made the call that we were going to stay in on Sunday morning. We don't live near a river, and I wasn't worried about us, but did not want to take a chance of flooding the car out driving through water. We had a nice, quiet evening at home and went to bed.
Early Sunday morning Yan and I were sleeping and she was curled up in my bed. We started to hear the thunder rumbling, but that made me want to roll over and sleep longer. Suddenly I was awakened by loud pounding on my bedroom window and heard someone screaming, "Wake Up, Jennifer". I stumbled out of bed and headed to the door. It was my neighbor, Kyle. She and her son were outside. She started yelling something about it being an emergency, my house was going to flood and we needed to get out. I was in a stupor, I didn't have my contacts and I started to move in slow motion. She told me she needed my keys so that they could try to save my car and that we should come to their house up on the hill.
I handed her the keys, got my contacts and started pacing, not knowing what to do next. For some reason (not a logical one), I logged onto my facebook account and posted a note asking my friends to pray. I then grabbed Yan's hands and we stopped to pray-I didn't know what else to do. I grabbed a few things, but really thought that there was no way that my house would flood. It was then that I looked out the front door. I saw that our entire cul-de-sac up to our mailbox was under water and there was no way out. I then flew into overdrive and started throwing things into bins, setting them on shelves up high and getting out a few changes of clothes.
The water was rising fast and I knew that Yan was going to get scared if we didn't get out soon. I got a few things with her and headed out the back door to the neighbor's house. She was still happily skipping in her rain boots, completely oblivious to the danger. At the neighbor's house I found more people...an elderly couple that we've come to know and love from a few houses down. Their house was already completely submerged up to the roof. They had lived there 46 years...and they were in shock.
I tried to get a grasp on what was going on, got Yan settled and then realized that we didn't have much food in the neighbor's house. I knew I had some in my pantry, so we went back to get it. By the time the neighbor and I got to my back door, the water was up to my waist and I knew that it was now inevitable. I wanted so badly to do something, to rescue everything from the situation. But there was nothing I could do.
For the next two days we stayed at the neighbors house, we lost power for a while, then when we regained it we realized how widespread the situation was all over Nashville. Yan had a very rough time at first. She just kept saying and signing, "home, home". I tried to explain and show her that there was water in our home, but she refused to even look out the windows at it. However, even in those early moments, God was providing. He orchestrated friends who were praying, planning ways to help, sending messages and verses of support and love.
Monday the waters receded. I was able to go over and look inside the house for the first time. I was SOOOO not prepared for what I saw. In my mind I thought, "wet". I didn't realize that the flood was destruction. The water ended up going through the house, about 3+ feet. But it rearranged the furniture, flipped the refrigerator and dressers, collapsed the book shelves and covered everything in a slimy, gross muddy sludge. It stunk already. I was in shock. Almost everything was ruined. The neighbors kept saying that I needed to get everyone I knew to help clean it out. I thought it would take weeks because it seemed so daunting. However, once again the Lord provided. A friend's husband came early that morning, saw the mess and said that he would make a few phone calls. About 15 teenagers and adults from his church youth group came out and within 6 hours my house was gutted and stripped down to the studs.
It's a weird thing watching all your possessions being thrown into the dump and taken to the landfill. I started giving them things that weren't ruined to trash...it was like everything was contaminated to me.
Fortunately, I was able to save most of Yan's pictures, some clothing and about 1/2 of my store inventory (because it was up on high shelves). But all the other stuff was gone. The antique rocker, the cedar chest my dad made, all our furniture, all our homeschool materials, all my therapy stuff, boxes of mom and dad's photos, just gone. But, it is just stuff. I know that...but, it's still going to hurt. Every time I think about the stuff I can't replace-the keepsake ornaments, Yan's artwork, the clothes she came home in-it stings.
Through it all though, God has remained faithful. He is providing. We've been blessed with wonderful friends who have a basement apartment that we are currently staying in. We are either going to move back into the house when it's redone, or find another. We've been blessed by friends who have rallied donations of items, gift cards and money that will help us to create our little home again, hopefully someday soon. But I pray that I will never look at things the same way. I know in my heart that God is using this experience as an opportunity to set me free from more "stuff" in life. And even though I long for Yan to have that security of "home", I pray that this makes her stronger in her belief that God and I plan on being there for her. I'll try to leave you with some pictures and a verse that someone emailed me during the midst of the raging waters.
He reached down from on high and took hold
Three weeks ago on Saturday, May 1st, Yan and I were at home cozy in our pajamas. We had been out earlier in the day, but came back early because it was pouring rain and had been for days. When I drove around I noticed some of the roads were starting to flood. It was supposed to continue raining and I made the call that we were going to stay in on Sunday morning. We don't live near a river, and I wasn't worried about us, but did not want to take a chance of flooding the car out driving through water. We had a nice, quiet evening at home and went to bed.
Early Sunday morning Yan and I were sleeping and she was curled up in my bed. We started to hear the thunder rumbling, but that made me want to roll over and sleep longer. Suddenly I was awakened by loud pounding on my bedroom window and heard someone screaming, "Wake Up, Jennifer". I stumbled out of bed and headed to the door. It was my neighbor, Kyle. She and her son were outside. She started yelling something about it being an emergency, my house was going to flood and we needed to get out. I was in a stupor, I didn't have my contacts and I started to move in slow motion. She told me she needed my keys so that they could try to save my car and that we should come to their house up on the hill.
I handed her the keys, got my contacts and started pacing, not knowing what to do next. For some reason (not a logical one), I logged onto my facebook account and posted a note asking my friends to pray. I then grabbed Yan's hands and we stopped to pray-I didn't know what else to do. I grabbed a few things, but really thought that there was no way that my house would flood. It was then that I looked out the front door. I saw that our entire cul-de-sac up to our mailbox was under water and there was no way out. I then flew into overdrive and started throwing things into bins, setting them on shelves up high and getting out a few changes of clothes.
The water was rising fast and I knew that Yan was going to get scared if we didn't get out soon. I got a few things with her and headed out the back door to the neighbor's house. She was still happily skipping in her rain boots, completely oblivious to the danger. At the neighbor's house I found more people...an elderly couple that we've come to know and love from a few houses down. Their house was already completely submerged up to the roof. They had lived there 46 years...and they were in shock.
I tried to get a grasp on what was going on, got Yan settled and then realized that we didn't have much food in the neighbor's house. I knew I had some in my pantry, so we went back to get it. By the time the neighbor and I got to my back door, the water was up to my waist and I knew that it was now inevitable. I wanted so badly to do something, to rescue everything from the situation. But there was nothing I could do.
For the next two days we stayed at the neighbors house, we lost power for a while, then when we regained it we realized how widespread the situation was all over Nashville. Yan had a very rough time at first. She just kept saying and signing, "home, home". I tried to explain and show her that there was water in our home, but she refused to even look out the windows at it. However, even in those early moments, God was providing. He orchestrated friends who were praying, planning ways to help, sending messages and verses of support and love.
Monday the waters receded. I was able to go over and look inside the house for the first time. I was SOOOO not prepared for what I saw. In my mind I thought, "wet". I didn't realize that the flood was destruction. The water ended up going through the house, about 3+ feet. But it rearranged the furniture, flipped the refrigerator and dressers, collapsed the book shelves and covered everything in a slimy, gross muddy sludge. It stunk already. I was in shock. Almost everything was ruined. The neighbors kept saying that I needed to get everyone I knew to help clean it out. I thought it would take weeks because it seemed so daunting. However, once again the Lord provided. A friend's husband came early that morning, saw the mess and said that he would make a few phone calls. About 15 teenagers and adults from his church youth group came out and within 6 hours my house was gutted and stripped down to the studs.
It's a weird thing watching all your possessions being thrown into the dump and taken to the landfill. I started giving them things that weren't ruined to trash...it was like everything was contaminated to me.
Fortunately, I was able to save most of Yan's pictures, some clothing and about 1/2 of my store inventory (because it was up on high shelves). But all the other stuff was gone. The antique rocker, the cedar chest my dad made, all our furniture, all our homeschool materials, all my therapy stuff, boxes of mom and dad's photos, just gone. But, it is just stuff. I know that...but, it's still going to hurt. Every time I think about the stuff I can't replace-the keepsake ornaments, Yan's artwork, the clothes she came home in-it stings.
Through it all though, God has remained faithful. He is providing. We've been blessed with wonderful friends who have a basement apartment that we are currently staying in. We are either going to move back into the house when it's redone, or find another. We've been blessed by friends who have rallied donations of items, gift cards and money that will help us to create our little home again, hopefully someday soon. But I pray that I will never look at things the same way. I know in my heart that God is using this experience as an opportunity to set me free from more "stuff" in life. And even though I long for Yan to have that security of "home", I pray that this makes her stronger in her belief that God and I plan on being there for her. I'll try to leave you with some pictures and a verse that someone emailed me during the midst of the raging waters.
He reached down from on high and took hold
of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me
from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too
strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support. He brought me out into a
...spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. ~
Psalm 18:16-19
During the flood, our house was the white one
The backyard...which really has steps up to the back door. Yan's toys floated around the neighborhood.
The inside...no, that's not where we usually keep the fridge. :-)
It rearranged my furniture and demolished the other bookshelves in the living room.
The disgusting bathroom. We even found food in there.
Some of the trash piled outside
Very thankful for my little keep pile. And Yan's pediatrician even came over and moved it for us.
After-the inside gutted
Monday, February 22, 2010
It's just the way it is
Yan has had a difficult time with attachment and security since I adopted her. It was literally a year after she came home before she could stay with anyone for even a short period of time. She has come a long way. But there are days...days like today when I wonder when/if her little heart will ever feel secure.
I've had to go several places during the last few weeks and have left her at a place she really enjoys (it is a drop-in childcare...but I know the person/people who run it and they do well with her...I don't want someone to read this and have flashbacks to the movie "One Fine Day" and the "Ninth Street Drop-In" :) Anyway, she seems to enjoy being there. She likes having children around who are a wide variety of ages. She enjoys doting on the babies and joining in the games with the older kids. But she is still scared. She will not eat, drink, go potty, or change her pull-up. And when she's "done", she just meltsdowns and cries.
She has done the same thing when I've gotten a new sitter...she will dehydrate before she'll even touch a drop of food or drink. It just makes me sad. I just want her to know that she knows that she knows that I will always come back. We are five years out now...when will she fill secure? Oy...it just is what it is today. Jenn
I've had to go several places during the last few weeks and have left her at a place she really enjoys (it is a drop-in childcare...but I know the person/people who run it and they do well with her...I don't want someone to read this and have flashbacks to the movie "One Fine Day" and the "Ninth Street Drop-In" :) Anyway, she seems to enjoy being there. She likes having children around who are a wide variety of ages. She enjoys doting on the babies and joining in the games with the older kids. But she is still scared. She will not eat, drink, go potty, or change her pull-up. And when she's "done", she just meltsdowns and cries.
She has done the same thing when I've gotten a new sitter...she will dehydrate before she'll even touch a drop of food or drink. It just makes me sad. I just want her to know that she knows that she knows that I will always come back. We are five years out now...when will she fill secure? Oy...it just is what it is today. Jenn
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Some of them
For some reason it is still not letting me upload all of them...but here are a few more!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Hello Again Friends!
Yes, we're still here. It's been a crazy time here. I am trying to get an online store up and running...so stay tuned.
In other news, Yan and I had a blast this Wednesday. We met a friend, Christy, that I met online a few years ago. She's also a mom of two beautiful internationally adopted children. She's a photographer and just a great person. She came into town for a photography convention and we got to meet in person. She was kind enough to take some pictures of Yan and I at a local mall. There was an aquarium restaurant and we had so much fun seeing all the fabulous sea creatures. Yan loved it! Here are some of the shots!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Yes, we are still alive!
I realize I totally dropped the ball on the blog...but really, how many people are still reading? :-) We are still alive and kicking. It has just been a very busy time. I also find myself posting little things on Facebook, but just don't get over here to post.
Christmas was great. I sold toys again online and stayed busy. Yan seems to love each Christmas better than the last one. She loves the tree, lights and especially the presents. I think she loves opening them more than anything. She loves anticipation, the magic, the surprise. She is definitely not bogged down by "things"-it's more about the experience.
My little girl turns 9 tomorrow! I.CANNOT.BELIEVE.IT! How does the time go so quickly? I still think of her as that teeny little toddler that was still uneasy on her feet. She has grown and blossomed; and honestly, I cannot imagine life without her.
Right now we're having a friend here for the weekend. Yan is having so much fun playing, rough housing and yes-being bossy! They both fell asleep next to each other-so sweet!
I'll post a couple of pics here...and will TRY to get her birthday pictures loaded quickly. Jenn
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