One of those "Why" Times

I don't know about you, but I can get caught up in reading blogs and lose total track of time. I've also been blessed to be a part of several on-line forums where I have met fabulous people who have become wonderful, real-life friends. I love being connected to others and I love to keep up with what is going on in their lives.

However, there are times that the rain seems to pour down and you realize that so many people are hurting and suffering. During the past week, through webgroups I've known of 3 little kiddos, ages 2, 2 and newborn, who have all passed away. My heart just aches for their families. I know the pain of grief; but honestly, cannot imagine it being my child.

Some moms on one forum admitted that it is so hard to "give your child over to the Lord". I completely agree. I think as a parent you do everything to protect and guard them. The last thing that we want to do is think of them being taken away. Yet they are not ours. They are gifts, blessings from the Lord and they belong to Him.

I'm praying that God will continue to mold my heart into one that has truely surrendered everything, including Yan. I'm also praying for all these families mourning the loss of their little ones. Jenn

Catching up on Photos

Well, I thought I would catch up on some photos. Tonight Yan got out her big box of dress-up stuff and had a blast...here are a couple of those pics.

And, the infamous tongue injury. It was the first accident we had as a result of our swingset. The neighbor boy was swinging and she walked right in front of him-it knocked her over. She bit through her tongue all the way in two spots, then it went into her lip-OUCH!!! I felt so bad for her! But, no stiches were needed (Thank you Jesus!!) and it is all better now.

And, we have a beautiful tree in the front yard, that I took some pics of. Enjoy! Hugs to all!

Jenn

More Words!!

Last night we left gymnastics class (which Yan adores!) and had to stop at CVS to get some allergy meds on the way home. I was debating on whether I should run through McD's to get some food, or be good, and make something at home. I said, should we go get french fries or go home? (1/2 talking to myself) Then I just said, you know what, we can go home and eat. Yan adamantly replied, "NO, CHICKEN!" I was shocked and said, "You want chicken nuggets" and she said, "Yesssssss"! Wooohoooooo...she said "chicken". So, off to the drive thru we went.

I do realize that I'm creating a new problem by giving her all these new goodies that she is finally asking for...but alas, I will deal with that later, because we are having a great word week!!!

Yeah God! Jenn

One Word

Yan is up way past her bedtime tonight-but for a very good reason. I put a Barney on for her to watch before she went to bed and after it was over she ran into my office. I said, "Yan it's time for you to go to bed". She said, "No". I asked, "Oh, do you want more Barney?", she replied with, "NO, Sesame"!!!! :-) AHHHHHH, music to this mama's ears.

To some a new word is a daily or even hourly occurance...but she has been working on the word "Sesame" (for Sesame Street) for a couple of weeks now. And she finally said it!! I cheered, clapped, praised her for talking and, of course, put on a "Sesame Street"! :-)

You would think that because I'm a Speech Pathologist I would understand how precious words are. I remember a few of my little clients saying their first words and their moms melting into a pile of tears. I was excited for them; I clapped and cheered, but man, I never knew how excited my heart would feel when it was my child struggling to get a word out.

I really and truely am trying to raise Yan without my "expectations". I don't want to limit her, expect too much or too little from her, or miss out on anything God is trying to say to or through her as we go through life. However, no matter how hard I've tried...I still fall short. Somewhere deep in my mind I have thought, well surely Yan will talk. I talk constantly, I'm a Speech path, I've helped other people talk-she just will. But it is probably the thing that is consistently the hardest for her.

I can see the wheels turning in her head as she struggles to make a word or even sound. She has so much to say, but her mouth is still not in sync with her head sometimes. So we will work, wait, pray and rejoice for each little victory! God is good and I'm so glad that I can savor every moment!
Hugs, Jenn

Busy week, gotta see this!

We've had one busy week and I really need to catch up on things. I'll be sure to blog later about our first swingset injury :-(

However, I was reading another friends blog and saw this you tube video...you've got to see it, it's incredible!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MS93Q4jQAO0&feature=related

Catch up soon!
Jenn

He is Risen Indeed!

Happy Easter!! I hope that you were blessed with a wonderful time to celebrate our Savior's resurrection!

I've been pondering Easter this week and was thinking about how my thoughts about Christ have changed over the years. I think it's interesting how we go through different seasons in life and through them we learn more about Jesus. I remember how I felt the first Christmas and Easter after mom and dad passed away. I was thinking about how are holidays must pale in comparison to theirs, celebrating around the throne of God. We can see only small glimpses of the glory that they bask in on a daily basis. It brought the realization of eternity into a new light for me.

This newer season of motherhood has brought me a deeper understanding of the loss of Mary, and what God gave up when he "...gave His only begotten son". I truely can't imagine the pain of watching your child suffer and die on a cross-knowing that they did no wrong. I completely lose if Yan even gets hurt-I think I would have had to be constrained if I was Mary. I really can't imagine the pain. Then, after experiencing such acute grief, to see Him again-her joy must have been overwhelming.

But what must she have felt when people still didn't believe? Her son gave His life, was humiliated, shamed and killed to save the world-yet some still couldn't and wouldn't believe. What does it say about His sacrifice when someone doesn't believe? Was it not enough? How could any of us, totally imperfect people, do anything which even remotely compares to Christs' sacrifice?

Hmmmm. I'm just in awe...in awe that Christ did that for you and me!
Jenn

Fun, fun, fun...

those are the 3 words that Emily Yan now uses to describe her gymnastics class! She loves it! "My Gym" is a gym for little kiddos that has branches nationwide. They are also affiliated with "Changellenged America", who helps individuals with disabilities. We are working with them to get a scholarship so that Yan can attend weekly classes. She was all smiles going into her second class today. She kept laughing so hard while on the trampoline that she would fall...she just cracks herself up! Here are some pics from class and from earlier in the (beautiful, springy) day!

Jenn